Saturday, June 25, 2011

PRIDE, Part I

Being from Texas, I have a lot to be proud of. The Texas Rangers, always. The Cowboys...only marginally these days. The Mavs...sure. But I'm not a sports guy. I'm a theatre guy, and to most people in texas (read, most STRAIGHT people), that doesn't fly. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but sports isn't everything.

I am a proud and out homosexual. I am now 28 years old, less than six months from turning 29. And I have been out to my family and my friends, and pretty much everyone, since I was 16 years old. That's twelve long years. Not quite half my life, but long enough. I've seen ups and downs and sideways and no ways, but through it all, I have always known who I truly am, deep inside.

Some of my friends chastise me regularly on how much I talk about, or care about, gay issues. I have one friend in particular, who, several years ago, during a presidential election race, called me a "one trick pony," because he thought all I cared about was same-sex marriage.

Let me be clear...there has never been, and never will be, only ONE issue I care about. I do, however, consider it a VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE. And why not?

The thing that a lot of heterosexuals don't understand, and they take for granted is, they can marry pretty much whomever they want (as long as that other person consents). Meaning, no one can tell them what to do. This is a BASIC FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHT. And they've been doing it so long, that they can't recognize it when the exact opposite is true for others.

My friend tells me I can marry whomever I want...as long as it's a woman. Well, NEWSFLASH, I DON'T WANT TO MARRY A WOMAN!!

It pains me, TO THE CORE, to think that someone can legally do something that I am not allowed. I just don't understand how someone can't see the difference. Those who argue that same-sex marriage will bring about the downfall of American society are just ignorant, biased, and bigoted. Yes, I said bigoted.

Every single person who has ever said something against gay marriage in this way, just look at their track record. Not a single one of them has ever supported gay rights, as far as I can tell. Pat Robertson? One of the biggest homophobes ever. Same for Jerry Falwell. This is a guy who actually blamed 9/11 on gays and lesbians, and people who have had abortions.

Um...correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we discern that the perpetrators of 9/11 were fundamentalist Jihad Muslims under the direction of Osama bin Laden? Who is absolutely AGAINST gays and abortion? I mean...come on!



My point is simple. Leave us be. Just let me and my friends and my loved ones enjoy the SAME RIGHTS as you do. Not SPECIAL RIGHTS. Because while marriage may be SPECIAL in the eyes of its partakers, it is NOT A SPECIAL RIGHT. It is an EQUAL RIGHT.

I rejoice with my gay brothers and lesbian sisters in New York today with the news that same-sex marriage is legal in that state. This brings the number of gay American citizens who can marry to double the number it was before yesterday. So, six states, plus the District of Columbia (Washington, D.C., for those unaware), can now offer full marriage benefits to all human couples. Notice I said couples, not groups of one man and several women, or one woman and several men. Notice I said human, not animal, seeing as the most an animal can decide is where or where not to shit, and not sign a legal document.

Notice I said EQUAL, not SPECIAL, and most of all, notice this America...the time is here. The time is now. EQUALITY WILL REIGN.

ATTENTION ALL NAYSAYERS AND HOMOPHOBES--YOUR TIME IS COMING TO AN END. YOUR REIGN WILL BE OVER SOON. TAKE NOTICE. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS FOR THE PRIDE OF HUMANITY. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS FOR EQUALITY.

God bless you, New York, and God bless EVERYONE, NO MATTER who they love.


AMEN.

--DG

4 comments:

  1. On a personal level, does it matter that gay marriage isn't legal? What difference does it make if the courts don't recognize a marriage? Can't you find someone to perform a ceremony, buy rings and call each other spouse? Technically speaking in this state what's to keep you from filing your taxes jointly and being common-law married? Viva La Revolution!

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  2. that is all true, nate, but the biggest selling point of legal marriage?

    when you and chancey got married, as when mike and megan did, by signing your marriage license, you both automatically became eligible for AT LEAST 1,373 different marriage rights and/or priveleges.

    Yes, I could enter into a legal contract with another man, and have a ceremony as you described, but if the law doesn't recognize our union and doesn't allow us to partake in the benefits of said union as you and chancey do, or as mike and megan do, then why go through the ceremony at all?

    I once had this conversation with mike, and he mentioned that we could just sign 1,373 documents in a legal contract that make it "just as good" as marriage, but without calling it marriage. he even admitted that marriage originally had the idea of joining together not just two people, but two tribes, or nations, who were previously enemies, so as to gather more land, or resources, or citizenry. but he refused to call it marriage if between two same-sex individuals.

    my point is this...if you want your marriage to involve religion, or church, or God, or however you describe it, go right ahead and have a big church wedding. A wedding may be a church/religious/spiritual event, but a marriage is not the same as a wedding. A marriage is a contract, civilly (legally) speaking, and should be treated as an equal opportunity for ALL citizens, regardless of race, religion, creed, or sexual orientation.

    A marriage is a lifelong committment between two people who truly "GET" each other, and who truly love each other, no matter what.

    Yes, unfortunately, some marriages don't last, but i'm pretty sure (having never been married before), that most couples don't go into it thinking such a thing, and do intend to go through with it for their lives. I know mike and megan did. I know you and Chancey did. I know plenty of gay couples that have done the same thing, and have had longer relationships than a lot of straight couples i know. shouldn't they at least get the opportunity to try?


    also, just a personal question, cause i don't know the answer...other than me, do you come into contact with any gay people, especially couples, on a regular basis? i only ask because you've never mentioned it, and i was just curious. also, and i don't know if this is true, not being straight, but it seems to me that a lot of my straight friends who didn't grow up with a LOT of gay people around seem to "reevaluate" their views when they interact with more gay people on a regular basis. not that i'm saying you need to reevaluate your views, i'm just curious if they've ever changed because of someone you've come into contact with (other than myself).

    take care.

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  3. I'll wrote something long and elegant, but it got erased so I'll be briefer and less nuanced this time. I guess :(

    A) The state didn't create my marriage, Megan and I did -- the Church and the state merely witness it. If the U.S. government invalidated all marriages tomorrow, we'd still be married, because no earthly power has jurisdiction over my marriage. I don't think most supporters of the same-sex marriage see it this way. I'm not sure WHO they think has power to confer marriage, but it doesn't seem like a productive use of time/resources if you ask me.

    B) There are only two legitimate goals I can see from taking up the "legalise same-sex marriage" campaign. First is the benefits you mentioned above, which could be won with less controversy using the grand contract you referenced above. Second, is acceptance. I think that's really what this is all about. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the goal of the movement, as I see it, is for the state (and thus the people) to declare that a relationship between two members of the same sex, is just as good as a traditional family. Or at the least, that it is a good thing. I don't believe that all Americans will ever say such a thing, but I also believe that very many will and that the new majority will start persecuting the minority. Be gentle.

    C) In regards to the "gay marriage will destroy the institution" meme above, I would say that same-sex marriage is a symptom (a very visible one) of the underlying shift in America's understanding of marriage. This shift happened decades ago. The idea that marriage is about "being in love", and happiness, and sexual fulfilment is a new phenomenon and is not working out well. Infidelity, divorce (esp. no-fault divorce), and widespread contraception use are all part of the same shift. The additional factor is the belief that men and women are interchangeable -- as workers, as parents, as sexual partners, etc. It seems to obvious to point out that mothers and fathers are different, but I suppose it bears repeating.

    D) Marriage is first and foremost about creating a family. The second we said "I do", Megan and I became members of each other's families forever. Megan can no more cease being my family than Isabella or Nathan can. Second, it is about sacrificial, self-giving love. This is hard to do, but it's easier when you remember the first part -- because families look out for each other. Third, it is about children. The inability of a couple to have natural children, a visible unity of their flesh, is a tragedy... and is a defect of true marriage.

    E) Love between men is a beautiful thing. (Write that down!) When approached appropriately (i.e. non-sexually), love between men is a source of brotherhood, strength, and is the ideal of self-giving love in Western literature (Gilgamesh/Enkidu, Achilles/Patroclus, David/Jonathan, George/Lenny). It's saddening to know that sexuality has grabbed hold of this love and twisted it's goodness.

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  4. Riddle me this Stratton: What's the difference between civil/legal marriage and common law marriage?
    To answer you question, not including yourself I've had 6 pretty close friends that I can think of off the top of my head that were gay or bi. Not to inflate your ego but I'd say you shaped my early views of homosexuality. My thing on gay marriage is this, no one needs permission to get married assuming you're a natural citizen. Why would you WANT to SUBJECT yourself to more regulation and scrutiny by the state? For perspective you should look up when the first marriage license was created and used in this country. (hint free people don't need a marriage license)

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